Monday, 12 June 2017

The UK election - lessons learnt


Predictably the 'Remoaners' are rejoicing at the disastrous Tory election result. Now we must have a 'Soft' Brexit -what ever that means - sounds like a brand of lavatory paper to me..

Well actually NO -the election didn't say that - or anything like that.  The UKIP vote mostly went to the Tories whilst the openly 'Remain' parties, the SNP and the Liberals had a really bad election. it would be a grave mistake of politicians and 'the business community' (of which more later) to think they have killed the UKIP Dragon, it's not dead but only sleeping and Nigel Farage is already half awake ready to re-join the fray. In other words if the Conservative government now thinks it would be good politics to cuddle up to the Germans then they risk reigniting UKIP and a large scale fall off in their electoral support.

Have we learnt anything from this election. Well one thing is that education is clearly a complete waste of time and money - a view I have long held, noting that most successful companies are started by those who leave school at sixteen with one GCSE not graduates with double firsts.  so Cambridge - that seat of learning - retuned a Labour MP for the first time ever- why - because Corbyn said he would not only stop charging students tuition fees but- at a cost of a mere £30 billion- wipe out the debts of any graduate with an outstanding student loan!

You might have thought that the educated elite would have been able to do the sums and work out that showering such largesse on graduates now wallowing in highly paid jobs in business and banking, was, for both economic and political reasons, just not going to happen. But Oh No. These over educated morons voted Labour. so that's one major lesson learnt  - spending more money on education doesn't equal producing a more intelligent electorate - rather the opposite.

Now for the 'business community.' I know - though press studiously ignores it - that many truly successful businessmen -who have actually built up their own businesses -like Lord Bamford - are pro Brexit while the 'Buggins turn' bosses of Britain's banks and large PLC's  are predictably 'Remoaners' also that there are many superb economists who think that a hard Brexit is quite manageable economically.

The thing to remember about the 'business community' is that their vision is short term - for them
five years is a long term project. Governments though should be thinking long term. So the 'business community' loves immigration because it gives them cheap labour. they don't have to worry about the long term consequences of it or pay for the education, health and housing problems it brings in its wake - they just like counting their -mostly unearned -bonuses.

As for the 'banking community' don't get me started on these pariahs. The whole reasons we are in the economic pooh is because of their gross incompetence and they have the nerve to lecture us on the follies of Brexit.  But don't worry when they threaten that 'jobs will leave London' because - frankly- they are most likely to be foreign jobs anyway - by that I  mean a job carried out by a foreigner working and living in London. A friend working for a large Investment Bank told me in his department - employing some 70 people -he and one other where the only Englishmen -So bye bye  banking jobs and hello to affordable house prices in London. sounds like a good deal to me.  

Oh and if a banking exodus means a fall in tax revenue - well we now know where to make the savings - in the higher education budget - it is - as they say - a no brainer





Thursday, 18 May 2017

The World we Live In -South West Water - a moron company


The telephone rings- I am  in the middle of breakfast -my wife picks up the receiver - she talks - then turns to me :

"It is South West Water they say they will only speak to you."

Cross - I hate my breakfast being interrupted - I pick up the receiver

"Hello"

"is that Mr Fulford "

" Yes"

"Could you give the first line of your address."

"Why"

"It's because of the Data Protection Act"

"Well as you are calling my home number you must know the first line of my address"

"We have to ask for it -it is the Data Protection Act"

"I am sorry I cannot speak to morons at this time of the morning" and put the telephone down.


Wednesday, 3 May 2017

Bullying Germany


When will the Germans ever learn. Twice in the 20th century we had to teach them that bullying other countries was just 'not on' and here they go again.  Now they are the big 'I am' of Europe they think once again they can throw their weight around and tell everyone what to do.  Well not us Mrs Merkel.

You would have thought that a day or two reading the history of the last century would have taught her that threats and bombast have the opposite effect on British people than is intended. If instead of being aggressive Merkel and her chums had used soft words and conciliatory phrases plus an little bit of flattery they would have got a very different reaction from the British people. But the more they bully and bluster the more our hackles rise and the more we dig our heals in as the Kaiser and Her Hitler both discovered to their cost.

 

Thursday, 27 April 2017

UKIP and the General Etection

Sadly UKIP -at the moment - is in disarray.  It has won the WAR - namely getting a referendum and then winning it - but seems currently to be running around like a headless chicken without direction. So here is what it should do

Firstly announce that it will only field candidates in those constituencies where the Conservative candidate is either a 'remainer' or a 'soft' Brexiter. It would be stupidity itself to put up candidates against proven 'hard' Brexit conservatives.

Secondly it should put forth a populist anti 'metropolitan elite 'manifesto, which should include abolishing the rule that we spend 0.7% of our GDP on overseas aid and instead announce that this money -some £13 billion will be redirected to defence and the health service. It should also contain a commitment to leave the absurd European Convention of Human Rights.

Thirdly - sadly Nigel Farage has said he won't stand for Parliament - which is a pity as I think if he had put himself forward in that ghastly vertically challenged little prig of a Speaker- Bercow's- constituency he would have romped home.  So in Nigel's absence perhaps the current UKIP leader, Mr Nuttall might give it a go  


Tuesday, 18 April 2017

Prince Harry and his Feelings


I'm afraid I am not going to join the majority in congratulating Prince Harry on 'coming out' with his stories of mental anguish and of showing his feelings.

When doing the TV series Life is Toff  the director kept on asking me;

"Francis what do you feel about............"   to which I eventually responded :

" How many times have I got to tell you - I don't do f****** feelings."  And I don't.

Other peoples feelings (whatever they maybe) are -along with other peoples children and other peoples illnesses  up there at the top of the League table of most boring topic of conversations ever.

It is also the 'Great Excuse' - Oh it is not my fault I am a complete dickhead it was because of  X . No -I'm sorry - if you at a complete dickhead it is your fault.

It is the great curse of modern society that we look for and find excuses for peoples behaviour and tell them that 'it is not your fault' forgetting the thousand of others who have had traumatic experiences who get a grip and fight through without recourse to ghastly psychiatrists peddling their bogus science of endless expensive counselling sessions.

I always remember taking my children for a walk when they were very little. Out of the corner of my eye I saw my eldest -who was lagging behind - fall over onto the rough road - I read his mind - shall I scream and cry or shall I get up and go on - he decided to get up and go on- but I have absolutely no doubt that if I had turned round and said: "Oh darling - are you all right? "   He would have burst into tears and howled. 

What we are doing with this modern obsession with 'feelings' is encouraging everybody to burst into tears and howl and IT IS NOT HEALTHY - rather the opposite.

Friday, 7 April 2017

The Syrian Chemical Warfare atrocity


Ok -I'm back

Inspired by the furore over the chemical atrocity in Syria I think we need to just get our brains into gear and ask some pertinent questions rather than firing off missiles.

1) Who is the major beneficiary of the chemical weapon atrocity is it;

a) President Assad and his forces or
b) Rebel forces - wishing to depose President Assad

2) What strategic advantage were President Assad's forces aiming to gain by the use of Chemical weapons against a small Civilian target?

3) Why having used chemical weapons did the Syrian forces not immediately occupy the area attacked to ensure that no Western journalists etc. had access to it?

4) Unless Assad and his commanders (and his Russian advisers) are all mentally deranged  they would know

a) That the use of Chemical weapons would bring down on them the full wrath of  the western press and every politician in the West
b) That president Trump being the guy he is would quite likely unleash the full force of American power to punish them
c) That therefore using chemical weapons except 'in extemis' or in order to gain an enormous strategic victory was imbecilic

Now I do not believe President Assad is a blithering idiot. I therefore do not believe he ordered or had any pre knowledge of the chemical atrocity.  It is of course possible that a Pro Assad officer ordered the attack off his own bat though again it is difficult to come up with a single logical reason why any reasonably intelligent officer should order a very limited chemical attack on a civilian target and them not immediately secure the target to remove the evidence of the attack.

So I believe that elements of the rebel forces, facing defeat, deliberately engineered a chemical attack on civilians (probably civilians who were supporters of a different rebel group) in order to achieve the AIM of a massive western attack on Assad.

I have said it before and I will say it again. Damascus before the so called 'Arab spring' was the most cosmopolitan and relaxed city in the Middle East. Girls wandered about in western fashion and gays chatted away with each other in restaurants and coffee houses without being persecuted.  admittedly it was a good idea not to voice vociferous anti regime statements and Western Democracy was unknown (as -of course - it is through out the Middle East) but as Dictatorhips go it was pretty benign,

All the so called 'rebel 'groups would, if they got into power, have very different agenda and if any one in the West thinks, for a moment, that some lovely secular Western style Democracy with a independent press and a independent judiciary would evolve from the ashes of the Assad regime then they are very stupid. 

Sunday, 19 February 2017

Macdonald's bacon roll v bacon sarney

The other day I was on the road and in need of  breakfast. I spotted a Macdonalds. Now I haven't been into a Macdonalds for about thirty years - so I thought I would see if they have improved!

I perused the menu and settled on a bacon roll. Now frankly what can go wrong with that I thought. The answer - everything. First, it was absolutely tasteless:  the roll was like chewing on cotton wool, the bacon was flavourless rubber and to cap it all it was  tepid.  So I won't be going to a Macdonalds again. But hang on - just how could they have got something so simple and so delicious as a bacon roll so wrong?

Now a proper bacon sandwich or sarney is one of the great culinary delights of the world. The most memorable one I ever had was at a cafĂ© halfway up a steep hill on our way back from a weekend playing soldiers in the Black Mountains in Wales.  This - Macdonalds -is what you have to do to make a great bacon sandwich.

First -obviously - choose good thick cut tasty bacon with lots of fat - then fry it - then put the said bacon between two slices of Mothers Pride white bread which have been liberally spread with margarine- then serve with a large mug of hot tea or coffee and - as Americans say - enjoy- there is nothing to beat it.